Haha. I’m not sure yet. I’m willing to look past and put up with a ton of things if I feel the relationship can survive. Or if I want it bad enough. It”s tough to explain. New question.
Girl of my dreams? Uhm.. I’ll let you know when I meet her, y’anno? Nobody you meet is gonna fit just right. It’s what you are willing to put up with to keep them around, yea? :]
It’s always up. I don’t know what you are talking about. And seriously. Keep in touch. I love talking to strangers, yea?
Yeah well. Please keep in touch, yeah?
Im doing much better :] It’s greatly appreciated.
Whaat. That could be forever. Do you know who I am. For real? Have I ever seen you in public?
Well shucks. I wish I knew you then.
teehee. Shove it. Rhymes with no emotion. TIME TO SPIN FIRE POI.
Here is the part where I admit I’m laying on the floor crying. Gonna be a rough few days. Isnt it.
I just don’t get it.
I’m absolutely infuriated. I have so much pent up anger and rage. While I feel I should want nothing to do with them. They are my best friends. and I should just let it go. Like all the other stuff. 2 weeks I was gone. I called home a few times and kept wondering if anything major has changed. Nothing new ever happens they told me. It’s when I get home a realize something has changed. For the absolute worse. I guess I’m just using Tumblr to vent out. I just feel… fucked over. Always am. They are lucky they mean so much to me. Otherwise I’d just say fuck it. But damn am I hurt. damn near broken. I don’t care how ‘Emo’ this sounds. To me it’s just nice to be able to say what I really thing. Honestly. I guess I don’t believe you. The reasoning behind it didn’t feel real. I guess the whole thing didn’t really feel real. It does now. And fuck. It sucks. I can’t seem to get all the rage out. The more I hit things the worse it gets. I feel betrayed. I feel lied to. I feel I could go on for days. I guess they’ll never know how I really feel about the matter. I re read this and. Even if they did see it. They wouldn’t understand the magnitude of anger I am feeling. And the worst part. Is I’d probably still say Yes. I guess part of me hopes they read this. But. Fuck it. That’s my new attitude. Fuck it. If something goes wrong? Don’t give a shit. Just don’t give a shit about anything. So. Yeah. l8r.
WTF? this isn’t my tumblr.
Then i realized, it was Mikhaels.
I guess I’ll get back on my own now.
LOVE YOU <3
But… Then I log in. and I see one message. Turns out. Just porn spam. God damn my life keeps getting. Shittier. and Shittier. And Shittier.
I dunno what it is. I want to believe her. But. I can’t. I just . Fucking . Can’t. And it is killing me.